Alone – part 9 – New Year, new start
All the holidays and celebrations are over. Workers are working, factories are
manufacturing, shops are selling and everything is back to normal. For most people. Now I am alone my life has changed.
Now is the time for me to find a new place to live, a new
life, do things I haven’t done before, spread my wings. Do I want to do all these things? Not really!
But I do have to find a new place to live, a place that is a lot cheaper
than this. Already I am registered with
21 agents – and that is not all of them.
Amazing! I have appointments to
view 2 flats in a few days’ time. I
listen to myself on the telephone, watch myself trawling agents’ property sites
and I can’t believe I am doing this. I
am talking with the owners about a third property, the one I really want, but
may not get.
I am sorting, preparing, photographing, all kinds of things
prior to putting them up for sale on numerous websites. Downsizing has begun in earnest. It is very hard to do alone, trying not to
remember where they came from, or why we had them.
Agents on the phone are very good at saying that their
colleague is the one handling the property I am enquiring about. Their colleague will call me back. But they never do. The agents are all very keen until I tell
them the rent I can afford – then they sort of lose interest. But they don’t ring off because they might
persuade me to up my figure. I wish!
I clearly stated on the forms and in speech what I needed, so
why do they keep offering me something else entirely? I have to learn more about compromises, big
compromises, and even bigger ones.
I am not sleeping
well. I spend too much time
worrying about my future. Worrying about
how I am going to cope with the next two traumatic months. Worrying about where I am going to live. Worrying about everything. The early hours of the morning are the most
worrisome time, and I wake up with those thoughts in my mind. Now I am alone I am not as strong and capable
as people believe.
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