Alone – part 5 - Bridges and Obstacles
Life has become a series of challenges which have to be
faced. Alone.
There are so many bridges to cross. After a lifetime of being looked after and
later looking after, just being alone is a challenge on its own. Every new thing I do on my own, instead of as
a couple, is a bridge crossed. Going
shopping with bags instead of pushing a wheelchair is a big bridge crossed. It takes a bit of planning, it could be easy
to over-buy and have too much to carry.
Catching the bus to go into town is another bridge crossed. Life is a series of big and little bridges
waiting to be crossed. Even booking air
tickets to go and spend some time with one of our sons in a different country
is a bridge crossed. Getting through the
airport and onto the plane is going to be a huge bridge, which I must cross
alone. Hundreds of other single people
do it every day, so why should it be harder for me than for them?
Obstacles are created by officialdom and bureaucracy.
They have to be overcome by filling in mountains of forms. Single pages, double pages, booklets, even a
50 page book! The same information over
and over again for so many different offices and departments. I’ve lost count. Some are tear-stained. But the amount of feedback and information is
almost zero, and the only knowledge gained is that it could all take 8 weeks to
8 months to finalize (depending on the department) and that probably one person
cannot live in a two bedroom apartment.
The
cruellest part of facing this is not being allowed to come to terms with it
properly. Officials say “so sorry” and
then bombard me with questions, more questions and endless streams of
paper. Not only have I lost my husband,
and my main income, I am losing our home as well. And I will have to downsize yet again – and
that will be another major challenge.
Where do memories stop and throw-outs begin?
But there are places to go, things to be done, more forms to
fill in, more interviews to be done, and a new life to be found. Alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment