Friday, January 29, 2016

Alone - Part 10 - Progress, the final part.



Alone – part 10 – Progress

It is done!  I am signing the contract to rent a new apartment, a small space compared to what we, I, have been living in.  I am doing this with great trepidation and fear, not sure that I am doing the right thing and no one to really discuss it with.  I am alone – and on my own.

I have worked out the pros and cons, what I can keep and what must go.  What there is space for and what there isn’t.  There are some difficult decisions to be made.  I am back to the crossroads that I mentioned in an earlier blog – where do memories and emotions stop and practical sense take over. 

It is time to move, time to leave this apartment with its wonderful ever-changing views and memories.  I have been on a selling spree and sold things that caused sadness in their going to new homes. I have given many bags full of clothing and bedding, as well as furniture, to charities working with the homeless.  The pictures are gone from the walls, the bookcases are empty, this flat is losing the character and feel that we gave it.

Tomorrow I collect the keys for the new flat, in a village, in an area I don’t know, where I don’t know anyone, and no one knows me – even in a different borough.  A place where no one knew us as a couple, and I will only be known as me.   In fact the village is only 6 miles from here, but it might as well be on a different planet.  Some people I have mentioned it to have no idea where it is.    The van will take all my goods and chattels and deposit them in my new abode.  Then it is up to me to make it my new home, a place to start again, a place to recover and create a new life for myself.

I wonder what the rest of this year has in store for me?  I’m sure there will be some bumpy bits ahead, but with luck there will be new friends to be made.  There is sure to be a lot to keep me busy, there is so much I still want to do, a lot of exploring to be done, and, I hope, a lot of variety in my days. 

Alone.


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