Alone - part 4 - Farewell

Alone – part 4 - Farewell

The day of farewell dawns.  I don’t want to get up, but I have to.  I don’t want to get dressed but I have to.  I want to talk to people, forget what day it is, but they keep reminding me.  The cars arrive, the family make their way downstairs, get into cars, follow the hearse very slowly to the end of the road.  The hearse, that big long vehicle carrying the shell of the man I loved for 60 years.  His picture is on top of the light simple plain box.  The picture of him smiling, with a cheeky glint in his eye.  Exactly the way he was.  I follow that picture all the way to the crematorium.   It’s hard.  I want to cry, but I must not.  This has got to be a good day for him.

 

The traffic is light so we make good time.  I am amazed at the number of people waiting for our arrival.  I try to greet everyone personally while the directors do what they have to do.  I lead the way into the chapel and sit at the front close to the lecturn.  From there no one can see the silent tears as they escape in spite of my efforts to contain them.   My daughters-in-law surround me, anxious to comfort me.

The whole service works exactly as planned and the funeral director who also acted as “master of ceremonies”, brought everything together perfectly.  I am pleased.  The eulogies are wonderful, the chosen music sounds even better in the chapel.  It is a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man.  I am so proud that our sons chose to carry the coffin, and of the eulogies they gave. I am so proud of our grandchildren who escorted their fathers and the coffin into the chapel, boys leading, girls following.   I am proud of what we achieved together, and so proud of what our sons and their families achieved today.

The Wake, or Farewell Tea and Cake, with added nibbles, is well attended and lasts an hour longer than intended.  The family return to the apartment to continue the chat.  Being scattered to the four winds family catch up time together is precious when we do all get together.  Everyone seems happy, which makes me happy.  They slowly start to leave. 

The last one has gone. It is done, over, finished.  I am alone again. I hope he enjoyed his farewell.  No, that’s wrong, I’m quite sure he did.